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Cringe-fest 2020

Prizes! Coaster by Katie Abey, mug warmer craft kit by Lucky Dip Club and rainbow ice cream necklace by Squeaky Frog
More prizes! Paddle, cuffs, collar and book all kindly donated by Victoria Blisse

I want your filth! After I wrote this piece which managed to be erotically charged whilst featuring the word stiffy, I toyed with the idea of running a competition with the theme being ‘making unsexy words sexy’. And right now I have nothing better to do than run the fucking competition!


  • You must use a minimum of two words from the list. If you want to attempt to use all twenty, be my guest. Well, 19. The 20th spot is author’s choice – just let me know your chosen awful WORD!
  • This is not the fabulous Euph-Off – the object is to write good, squirmy erotica. If you write something hilarious that it’s impossible to wank to, save your ardour for next March!
  • Please keep it to under 1k words if possible
  • No transphobia, misogyny, homophobia, scat, non-con or characters under 18 (obvs)

  • Entries must be received by midnight (UK time) Sunday August 9th (my birthday)I’ll make this my pinned post for the whole month – please add your link in the replies.Have fun!

I’ll make this my pinned post for the whole month – please add your link in the replies.Have fun!

The words

  1. Fart
  2. Stiffy
  3. Splosh
  4. Norks
  5. Titties
  6. Baps
  7. Boobies
  8. Muff
  9. Diddle
  10. K/Nob
  11. Humping
  12. Bumping uglies
  13. Minge
  14. Discharge
  15. Plums
  16. love length
  17. Wide-on
  18. Pump
  19. Flaps
  20. Author’s choice – Wildcard


  1. […] entirely thanks to Kate Lessons, who challenged me to bury some deeply unsexy words (full list here) in a functional piece of erotica. The stipulations were to use at least two, but I used all twenty […]


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