Skip to content

On Dick Pics

It’s not for everybody, I know. Some people just don’t need or want to see your bits and pieces other than when you’re getting down to business, and some people don’t want their junk committed to the memory of their Samsung Galaxy.
Some girls like to be sent photos of your cock – and they will always let you know if this is the case.

This isn’t a cry to start taking arty shots if either person in a sex-based situation isn’t entirely up for it. You do you.

There is a belief amongst some people that if a woman expresses a positive interest in sex (even if that sex explicitly does not involve a penis), there are men who are sure that what these women really want is cock; they remember that they have a cock, and they pass on badly-taken photographs of that cock, patting themselves on the back because they have ‘cracked what women want’.

These men are incredulous when we are disgusted, when we ask them what the fuck they’re playing at.

Conversely you can be the quietest, modestest, bible-studying femme on Twitter and still some arsehole will show you his junk because…. Oh I dunno, they think their penis is the one true cock to turn you into the rampant erotomachine you were born to be?

All they are providing is free aversion therapy, ensuring that more women will be less happy to handle wang because some people who have cocks don’t know how to keep them under control.



Did she actually ask to see my tackle?”

If the answer is no, put your chap away and go and do something more productive.

People who send non-consensual dick pics make it harder for those of us who actually love our partners to send them to us; harder for us to talk honestly about how pleasurable consensual dick pics can be.

Because personally, I think penises are good. (and vulvas and vaginas too, but that’s another post entirely. Stay tuned.).

You know what else I think? Dick pics from a significant other or paramour can absolutely be The Sexiest Thing.

The hottest seven word sentence in the English language is “This is what you do to me” and this is a hill I am willing to die on (the hill of ‘hottest seven word sentence in the English language’ specifically.). Accompanied by a glorious photo of the erection you caused; It’s both romantic and hot as hell. A reminder of what’s waiting for you when you’re next together.

Some popular genres of dick pic include:

The bulge
A firm favourite – dick prints were even a ‘thing’ last year although that was more along the lines of ogling David Gandy’s underwear shoots. The sight of boxer briefs distorted by the burgeoning erection beneath it is something glorious to behold. The promise of what’s to come.

The shot from above, looking down
Chest, tummy, cock – all lovely things in one place.

The Shot from below, looking up
i.e. what you’d be able to see if you were positioned between their thighs before you started sucking

The Mid-wank
Firm, throbbing, begging to be inside you in multiple ways, fingers grabbing the shaft, filled with urgency and deliciousness.

Taste, of course, is personal and subjective. You’ll know what you like and what you love in a dick pic, but that doesn’t really mean that all those boxes need to be ticked in order to leave you a panting, squealing mess. Equally it depends how you feel about the sender, too. You can forgive a lot in your one true love; your occasional lover, your friend who loves oversharing as much as you do.

However, if you find you’re not seeing quite what you want to see:

Don’t tell them it isn’t doing anything for you
Don’t give a long list of reasons you don’t like it or a long list of amendments
Do ask if you could see it from a particular angle/in a specific state
Do ask for video clips, some things are better in motion and not everyone can be Cecil Beaton with an iphone.

Happy snapping!


Masturbation Monday badge - small


  1. “pics from a significant other or paramour can absolutely be The Sexiest Thing.” I will happily die on this hill with you Hannah because you are absolutely right


  2. YAS, YAS, YAS. And also I would die on that hill with you, and I haven’t received a consensual dick pic in AGES.

    • This is a tragedy.


  3. […] month or so back the wonderful Hannah Lockhardt wrote this great post in praise of dick pics. I’m totally with her. I love dick pics. I love being the […]

  4. […] dick pics. It included the line: ‘the hottest seven word sentence in the English language is “This is what you do to me”’, and I don’t think I have ever read anything so true, for me at […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.